Bell Hooks and Gay Marriage: My Response

My Response:
Let me just say I love bell hooks. I think she is an excellent writer and a brilliant thinker. It’s nice to hear her voice once again in the public debate. It does appear that she has her criticisms about marriage. Sentence one had me very much intrigued. I wish she would of defended why marriage is an unhealthy institution. I was looking very much to her argument. Instead she gives her perspective on gay marriage in general.

I do agree with her that married or not, people should have certain rights. Those rights should not be based on the state legitimizing those relationships. However in reality marriage is legitimized and with that legitimization comes certain rights. People should therefore have a right to have access to those labeled institutions if they want. However, I think the problem with her critique is the suggestion that gay marriage is only truly a concern for class privileged folks because of their desire to transfer trusts, etc. and therefore not a priority for the poor and minorities.

I heard part two of her argument a lot through minority leaders who ran anti-gay marriage campaigns last year. The thing is, I get what she is trying to say; relationships should not have certain economic privileges that are not but should be extended to all. The truth is that although the poor and minorities do need basic civil rights that have not been granted, this does not make matters of the heart less of a priority. Even if I do not have healthcare, I still want to be with and have the person I love hold me down in tough times. I think in life we never put matters of the heart on the bottom of the totem pole. Relationships are always a priority in the lives of social animals like ourselves. They are our healthcare when we are broke, our support during times of unemployment, our happiness in times of poverty. I should not have to chose one issue over the other or act as if relationships and the right to have them is not a political issue.

Secondly, the poor may not have trusts but there are tax benefits to joint filing as couples. Those married to immigrants are suffering because of DOMA. Many families have been separated as a result. If a partner does get sick despite healthcare, we want their partner to have decision making rights. Gay marriage is not a wealthy people issue. It is an American issue. Although there are some who may think, like bell hooks, that marriage is unhealthy and patriarchal, I think what is unhealthy is denying people the right to do whatever they want to do with the person they love. Gays should demand the right to marry. They should also demand other rights. But one protest should not be sacrificed at the expense of the other or be considered less relevant.