Failures of Forgiveness

September 19, 2023

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Book Overview

Sages from Cicero to Oprah have told us that forgiveness requires us to let go of negative emotions and that it has a unique power to heal our wounds. In Failures of Forgiveness, Myisha Cherry argues that these beliefs couldn’t be more wrong—and that the ways we think about and use forgiveness, personally and as a society, can often do more harm than good. She presents a new and healthier understanding of forgiveness—one that will give us a better chance to recover from wrongdoing and move toward “radical repair.”

Cherry began exploring forgiveness after some relatives of the victims of the mass shooting at Emanuel A.M.E. Church in Charleston, South Carolina, forgave what seemed unforgiveable. She was troubled that many observers appeared to be more inspired by these acts of forgiveness than they were motivated to confront the racial hatred that led to the killings. That is a big mistake, Cherry argues. Forgiveness isn’t magic. We can forgive and still be angry, there can be good reasons not to forgive, and forgiving a wrong without tackling its roots solves nothing. Examining how forgiveness can go wrong in families, between friends, at work, and in the media, politics, and beyond, Cherry addresses forgiveness and race, cancelling versus forgiving, self-forgiveness, and more. She takes the burden of forgiveness off those who have been wronged and offers guidance both to those deciding whether and how to forgive and those seeking forgiveness.

By showing us how to do forgiveness better, Failures of Forgiveness promises to transform how we deal with wrongdoing in our lives, opening a new path to true healing and reconciliation.

Introduction: Forgiveness and Magical Thinking

1. What to Expect When You Are Expecting Forgiveness

2. Forgivers and Withholders

3. Making a Good Ask

4. Forgiveness as Political Project

5. When Race Matters

6. Home Improvement

7. The Business of Forgiveness

8. Canceling versus Forgiving

9. Forgiving Yourself

10. Radical Repair: With or without Forgiveness

Conclusion: Doing Forgiveness Better

Praises

“In a world full of moral cliche, forgiveness is a candidate for king. We dole forgiveness out, sometimes because we believe it’s the catalyst for healing, and other times because we assume bad things will happen if we don’t forgive. Myisha Cherry explodes these ideas and brilliantly explores how we should change our thinking about forgiveness, so that we can better understand its power, and our relationship not just to forgiveness, but to ourselves.”—Jason Reynolds, #1 New York Times bestselling coauthor of Stamped: Racism, Antiracism, and You

“We live in times that seem to demand the act of forgiveness. But Myisha Cherry insists that we understand forgiveness in all of its complexity and that we acknowledge its limits. It is not enough to ask for forgiveness; it is not enough to extend it to others, either. We have to do so much more if radical repair is to happen. Failures of Forgiveness offers the reader a way to do just that. Such an important book for our difficult days.”—Eddie S. Glaude Jr., New York Times bestselling author of Begin Again: James Baldwin’s America and Its Urgent Lessons for Our Own

“Like conjurers whispering spells, we speak ‘forgiveness’ to magically absolve us of wrongs, seeking the easy road of escape rather than the hard work of repair. In Failures of Forgiveness, Myisha Cherry offers a way of seeing forgiveness not as a magical act of transformation but as an ethical journey of discovery and healing. This is essential reading for our unsettled and unsettling times.”—Melvin Rogers, author of The Darkened Light of Faith: Race, Democracy, and Freedom in African American Political Thought

“The magical thinking of forgiveness has cast a powerful spell in both ethics and politics for a long time, but it’s a troublesome magic. In this personal and persuasive book, Myisha Cherry diagnoses that trouble with both insight and rigor. She demystifies the magic of forgiveness, outlines both its problems and its promise, invites her readers to broaden their moral thinking beyond the narrow limits of custom, and proposes a form of radical repair that can answer the complexities of responsibility and wrongdoing.”—Matthew Ichihashi Potts, author of Forgiveness: An Alternative Account

“Failures of Forgiveness is more than just another book on what it means to forgive and be forgiven. Rooted in Myisha Cherry’s brilliant conception of ‘radical repair,’ it serves as an instructive guide to restoring our relationships, our communities, and most importantly, ourselves.”—Christine Platt, author of The Afrominimalist’s Guide to Living with Less

News and Reviews

Myisha Cherry Wants Black Women To Offer Forgiveness On Their Own Terms | Essence Magazine

Forgive and Forget, or Neither | Publishers Weekly Q & A